Blitzkrieg Whores 18

Ever have a fart so bad you had to leave the house until it cleared out?
I was going up to my cabin years ago and I farted so bad I had to pull off the freeway and get out of the car. That was a rough one.
Ever have one so loud you felt the walls shake? I swear one time it felt like a plane flew over my house.

This should probably be re-classified as "Chemical Warfare" then.
Did your eyes start to water??

I use to fart as soon as i got into my car at the end of the workday. Then i'd see how long it'd take me to not open the window.

I never made it far, usually before the parking lot door was even opened, i'd have to open my windows.

see now, you guys bring up an interesting point.
i've always been under the assumption that most people were pretty much immune to their own farts. maybe i've just never been stuck in a closed space with one of my own.

my farts are just as deadly to me as anyone else... but I usually get out of wherever I let one rip.

The best ones are the ones that smell horrible but you are in a store and try to make it inconspicuous as you walk down the isle only to see the nose of the old lady behind you to start raise to the unpleasant scent. Then all you can do is try not to laugh. Keeper will vouch for my, thunderous ripps that wake her up from time to time not only from sound but from effect. I cant help but laugh when she tells me about it the next morning.

Crypt-keeper wrote:The best ones are the ones that smell horrible but you are in a store and try to make it inconspicuous as you walk down the isle only to see the nose of the old lady behind you to start raise to the unpleasant scent. Then all you can do is try not to laugh. Keeper will vouch for my, thunderous ripps that wake her up from time to time not only from sound but from effect. I cant help but laugh when she tells me about it the next morning.

lol oh this I can so relate to. Even better, ever have those ones where they dont smell, but you can fake it as something else like popping one of your joints? hehe I love doing that. :shhh:

Fun fart fact:
alot of farts that are loud and thunderous are actually from air being swollowed and making its way through you intestines. The most deadly ones are infact silent. Those are caused mostly by bacteria and other crap. Also farts exit at about 7 MPH.

one of my most memorable farts was during a track practice back in high school.
we were mid 100 yard sprint and every time my left leg hit the ground i ripped ass loudly. my buddies ended up busting up laughing allowing me to easily beat them haha

hahaha I remember in High school while doing sit-up test I'd fart continuously making it extremely embarrassing.

i knew a dude who could fart on command, he also had impeccable comedic timing. a great combo of skills to have if i may say so.

god this thread turns me on

Mongo wrote:Ever have a fart so bad you had to leave the house until it cleared out?
I was going up to my cabin years ago and I farted so bad I had to pull off the freeway and get out of the car. That was a rough one.
Ever have one so loud you felt the walls shake? I swear one time it felt like a plane flew over my house.

I did that at work on monday, and dude was kneeling under me puting stuff on the lower shelf, kmfao he ran so fast ahaha he said he had to wash his nose out in the candle isle, ahahahahahahahaha

I usually blow my farts away so I don't have to smell them but I am definitely not afraid to fart in public

Laughing my ass off! This is hysterical. Was wondering WHAT Gonzo is eating..... instead of chemical warfare it might be called Canadian Warfare!

Sitting in a big circle in Baja on a beach with about 20 people, a quiet moment around the fire, and I ripped one while attempting to be silent. Would have been great except bunneh was NOT at the beach that night...

and for those that need air...wimps! gut it out!

My favorite one happened not to long ago in the middle of the night, it woke up my girlfriend and my dog who started barking at it. I was very impressed with myself.

bunneh wrote:I usually blow my farts away so I don't have to smell them but I am definitely not afraid to fart in public

Thats hott!! ^_^

instantloser wrote: My favorite one happened not to long ago in the middle of the night, it woke up my girlfriend and my dog who started barking at it. I was very impressed with myself.
My favorite one happened not to long ago in the middle of the night, it woke up my girlfriend and my dog who started barking at it. I was very impressed with myself.

Thats some funny as shit!

ook-so after a long night of tweakin puerto ricans (red bull an 151) i wake up an let one go right-so i sit up an it smacks me right in the face! so hard that i fell out of bed! i had to text everyone letting them know that i assaulted myself